Random Notes and more: To the man who said I couldn’t be or accomplished ...

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month... Sharing a little bit of my story...

Random Notes and more: To the man who said I couldn’t be or accomplished ...: October is the National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I want to say some things to that man that told me many, m...

My experience with suicide ideation... on the Suicide Prevention Awareness Month

It is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. A month where we try to be more conscious about what is suicide and how we can prevent it. As part of it, I am sharing my personal encounter with suicidal thoughts and ideation. It is the first time,ever, I’m expressing myself about it...

I lived an abusing relationship for a long time. It was a very difficult relationship where I experienced verbal and emotional abuse. At some point in it, suicidal thoughts came to my

mind.  These thoughts came particularly when I was driving back from visiting my son who was in college. When you drive to the north side of Puerto Rico from the west coast, there is a high mountain that you will drive through. From this mountain, you can see a cliff with an amazing view of lower mountains and ending with the view of the ocean.
Every time I drove through there, for almost 2 years, the same thoughts came to my mind "What if I drive to the cliff  and end my  sadness."  The cliff had a way of hypnotizing me and, in my head, was calling me.

Those thoughts circle in my mind every time I was driving back home from visiting my son. I even stopped near the cliff once. Wanted to see how deep it was and what could happen to me if I decided to drive/jump in my car.

After getting home from visiting my son, days will follow full of questions in my head. I had one question that constantly came to my mind "What if I changed my mind while I’m going down the cliff?" This is the question that kept me from doing it. I am very grateful to have had it! I am still alive, happy, and looking forward to many adventures!

Life can give us, sometimes, difficult situations hard to handle. These situations are just situations, not our life. They are experiences you lived. I have learned that the path of one’s life could be full of stones, small and bigger ones; but between those stones, there are flowers that will accompany you while you walk your life’s path. We should pay more attention to those flowers; they will help us walk through all the stones.

Take care, Tere

                                                                                    

 

                                                                           

To the man who said I couldn’t be or accomplished anything... on the Domestic Violence Awareness month

October is the National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I want to say some things to that man that told me many, many, many times that I was nothing and that I couldn’t or wouldn’t be or accomplished anything.
You, the one that thought I couldn’t do anything, couldn’t be someone. Even more, you, the one that made me believe I couldn’t achieve anything...
Here I am, almost 6 years later after I ended our relationship and I have achieved way more than you can imagine. I am a woman with multiple roles in my life. Roles that I embrace every single day:
    I am a mother, a single one, who for the past 6 years (without counting all the ones before) has been a mom and a dad, loving and caring my sons.
    I am a published author with 3 published books and an award. Ha, and you thought that no one will publish my books.
    I am a mental health therapist and to think that you told me that I will never graduate from my masters.
    I am a teacher who tutors kids and love interacting and teaching them. Funny, you said I was too shy to do that kind of thing.
    I am a daughter who loves and takes care of their parents even on the distance, and you said I was a bad daughter because I was leaving them.
    I am a good friend to my friends who appreciate having me in their life. Yes, I have friends who I see whenever I want.
    I am a woman in love with my body. I’m not too fat for the view of anyone.
    I am a woman confident of my sexuality, no despise involved or wondering if I am woman enough.
    I am a woman who can awaken beautiful feelings of a man towards her. Yes, is not like you said: "If it's not me, no one can."
    I am a smart woman who can handle different roles, who can have intelligent conversations, and who likes to learn every day. I'm not dumb or stupid.

    I am a woman with a good sense of humor who likes to see life from the bright side and love to laugh. (I’m thankful that even with the worst things I lived beside you; you never took my smile or laughter away).
Even more, I am a happy, amazing, confident, smart, funny, caring, good-hearted woman who tries to live her life to the fullest, wearing a smile on her face every day, and is thankful for all that she is today.

I am way more of what you thought I would be. And you know what? There’s way more to come.
Stay tuned...

Take care, Tere