Monday, August 18, 2014
These past days I've seen all kind of posts about my friend's sons and daughters leaving for college.
I know the feeling. My older son left for college about 5 years ago.
It is difficult. Is like leaving them at kindergarten all over again. You feel the same.
Next year I will experience the same feeling again with my younger son and I am not prepare for that as I wasn't the first time.
For all of you parents that are experiencing these feelings now...
You have to accept that condition, you have to raise them with that idea, and you have to assume that reality
They aren't leaving. Is that life takes them
You are not their center. You are not the owner
You are now the counselor
You don't run the show...you accepted it
You can't demand...you accompany
They will need another love, another nest, and other perspectives
They have wings now and want to fly
They grew and matured their roots inside
They just passed the storms of their adolescence and they want to take the helm
They felt the call to live their life on their own
They know they are capable of the greatest adventures
They will seek a love that respects them, who wants to share the ups and downs along the way, which will sweeten their travel and assist them in helping them achieve what they want
They have chosen a path and want to explore it. The important thing is that they will know how to go through it
You will stay inside, in the foundation of his building, at the roots of his tree. In his heart
You will stay behind, in the kiss you blow
You will always be inside...even if you are not here anymore *
One final thought...
As a mom who had experienced these feelings before, I can tell you to relax, enjoy the ride with them and be proud of a job well done.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Random Notes: There is a force that sometimes protects you: Do you believe that sometimes in certain moments in your life you have an angel or a force that protects you from being harm? I do b...
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
People come from different backgrounds and with different histories. In their background and histories are their families. Some families can be call "normal families". This kind is families with "normal" issues a family could have. For "normal" issues we can mention some struggles at school of one of the member, some arguing between parents, and so on. They can be calling a "happy" family. By happy family, I mean it could be a family with a mother and father married for X number of years. They have a happy marriage with some ups and downs but nothing serious. They had, let's say, 3 kids. They are healthy, educated, college graduated or in college kids.
Other families, people like to call it dysfunctional families. A dysfunctional family could have divorced parents. Mom is a single mom with a lot in her hands and not much time. Dad lives a little far and appears once in a full moon. They had two kids who suffered a lot through the divorce of the parents and had been struggling, for a while, because of the absence of the father. Besides that, they are good kids, who try to succeed in life.
One day one of the boys from the "normal" family meets the girl from the dysfunctional one. They dated and fall in love. The time to meet the boy's family has come. She met them and immediately she falls in love with them. She thinks they are like no family she had met before. For her they are perfect and she really enjoy the time when she is with them.
The boy's family has opened their arms to her. They treat her as one of the family; they treat her as a daughter. Increasingly she asks him to spend more time with his family. She told him how wonderful his family is. She especially likes his father because he is such a wonderful man. He is a provider, he spend time with them and treat the mother with respect. She also loves his mother. She is always there for her kids and she knows everything about them and is always aware of their necessities. The boy loves that his family treat so nice his girlfriend and that she loves them. But...
By experience I can tell you that sometimes what the girl wants is a "normal" family. One that can give her what she doesn't have at home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you that are always like that. I am writing about my experience. We opened our family and hearts to a girl who came from a "dysfunctional family". She loves our son and loves our family. She spend a lot of time in our home (I believe that it was too much time). With time her love for our family became other thing. She started envy us because of the family we had. And that, obviously, was one of the reasons for their breakup. She ended up without a boyfriend and without the family she wishes she had.
And that's why I am asking, you love him or you love his family?