Thursday, January 4, 2018

Dating your 40's 

I am a 48-year-old woman who was married for 20 something years and after all that time with the same man (as my mom says, lol) I got a divorce. You know what does that means, right. You are single, after all that time, and you are lost in this new world for you, the dating world.  You might not know what to do and you will, most certainly, receive advice or opinions from a lot of people (friends, family, coworkers, etc.). Everybody nowadays talks about dating as if they are expert on the material.

If you go online you will find a lot of material about dating. The ones I like most are all these “pieces of advice” of things you should or shouldn't do when you are dating. Let me share with you some of them. I’m pretty sure you’ll know a couple. You should not kiss until the second date and/or not have sex until the third. If you do any of the two, your relationship will be doomed. Another one is not to text him first; you should let him do it first because he has to chase you, as well as, do not text him again if he hasn’t replied to you. You should just leave it like that, even if you want to tell him something new. Don’t ask him out is another "advice". He can ask you out any time he wants and as many times he wants but you shouldn't because then he might think you are desperate. Another advice is that one should play hard to get, always, not make it too easy for him. A text advice I found interesting is to wait more than 10 minutes before replying to a text and if he took time to reply to yours, then, you should take the double of that time to reply to him. This is to show him that you’re not available for him all the time. The following one, I think it's ridiculous: you should treat the guy badly because they like that, "bad girls". Really? I guess, I’m screwed with this one since I’m a good girl. These are some of the "pieces of advice" you can find on the Internet. Incredible, right. The funny thing is that there's a lot of women who follow them and men who want the women to do so. 

I'm not into these silly "pieces of advice", what you see is what you get with me. I’m not getting any younger and I’m not into playing games. I’m straightforward and will share my feelings every time. If I like him I will say so, if I will like to see him I will say it too. I will ask and share my feelings. I will text when I want and reply, most of the time, right away as I do with everyone. I'm a caring woman, so if I feel like sending a text saying that I hope he made it fine, or to wish a happy day, I will do so.

We are not teenagers anymore. We are adults and we have to behave as one.

I know there's a great man for me out there, who will love and respect me. Maybe I'm about to meet him or, perhaps, I already did. Who knows? I just hope that he isn't into games either, likes to share freely his feelings with me (even if I’m not going to like what he feels), and is not following any of these "rules" or "advice" (LOL). He follows his heart, just like me.

In the meantime...I’ll be enjoying this ride.

Share with me what you think about dating, I will love to know!

Take care, Tere

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Be grateful every day...

      Be grateful for a sunny or a rainy day,
       for the singing of the birds,
       because someone opened a door for you,
         for the bad and the good days
      for a day at the beach,
         for a tasty piece of cake,
         because things are not going as you expected,  
      for reading a good book or writing a great story,  
      for a tight, warm hug 
for tears of sadness,
    for times with friends and family,
     time with your love,
 for the laughter of your kids, 
for a sensual kiss,
           because someone holds your hand...
       Be grateful every day because you are alive! 
                                                                Tere Rodriguez-Nora                             

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

The year 2017 and I (what it taught me)

We are almost saying goodbye to the year 2017. I can't believe it's almost over...time really flies. I'm sure everyone has had different life experiences happening through the whole year. I wasn't an exception, I had an interesting and, in some way, a peculiar year.

Let me share with you some of the experiences I lived this year: I started the year (February) with one of my sons having a legal problem (falsely accused). He was arrested and transferred to jail. Difficult times dealing with it, I visited him in jail and saw him in that orange uniform and with handcuffed. Thankfully he's out and next month is his last follow up hearing where his case will be closed and he will be without any records on his name.

Also as part of this year experiences, I started two new part-time jobs that I love, tutoring teacher and after-school Spanish teacher. Another of my experiences was hurricane Irma in Orlando, even though I had experienced hurricanes before; this one was kind of scary for me. Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico on Sept. 20th (my B-day) leaving my island devastated. This touched my heart in an unexpected way, seeing how all of the Puerto Ricans: family, friends, acquaintances, were suffering and not be able to do anything. This hurricane also touched my professional life, one of my books was going to be published in English but since my publishing company does not have power nor internet yet, that couldn't happen. By the beginning of December, I had my identity stolen and my banks' accounts cleaned (no money). Yayy, great for me! This experience was one of a kind and a hard one to deal with. Lastly, I had to spend Christmas day alone this year. Cheerful, right?

But, as people say, from every situation we learn something...

What I learned from the year 2017?
I learned that is hard sometimes being a parent but still is the most rewarding role I have as a person. I also learned that I have the most amazing friends, who supported me through all of my son's entire situation without judging anything, stood by my side every time I felt I was falling, and lend me a shoulder where I could cry on. This year also taught me that the good ones are way more. I saw it in some people of the justice system as well as in the people that got together and help in different ways the people of my beautiful island, Puerto Rico, after the hurricane. Words can’t express the gratitude I have for those that helped and the ones whio continue doing it. This year, I also learned that even though I had to spend the Christmas day by myself and didn't receive any present; it's not so bad. I got to see a lot of Christmas movies (which I love) and stayed in my pajamas and ate the whole day. The experience of starting the two part-time jobs this year taught me a side of me I didn't know I had, of being a teacher, and I love it. This year also brought me more writing. I've been posting a quote every day, writing more on this blog and on some children's' short stories as well as in an adult book I'm working.  Furthermore, this year taught me that one can meet amazing people in unimaginable places or situations. Finally, this year has been the year of enjoying more my life as it is, trying to live the moment and to always see the positive things, even though I'm dealing with rough times.

I've been through a lot of different and unexpected experiences throughout this year, but I'm grateful for each and every one of them.

Next year (2018)...I will continue my journey. I will keep trying as long as I open my eyes every morning...nothing will stop me.

What did you learn from 2017? Share it wit me!!

Salud to a blessed new year!!
Take care, Tere


Thursday, December 14, 2017

A little romantic again...

Hey! Hello to all!

Here are some of the other romantic quotes I have written lately.

Hope you like them!

Take care, Tere

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Sharing a little more of my abusive relationship experience

A friend of mine asked me the other day why I didn’t write more about the experience I had with an abusive relationship. He thinks that letting others women know about it will benefit them because it might help those experiencing or have experienced the same thing.

That made me think why I really don’t do it. But, most of all, (and I don’t know why) made me think about that year after I left the abusive relationship.

For me, being part of an abusive relationship was hard but was even harder trying to live after that type of relationship was over.

Why you might think?

Well, living in an abusive relationship everyday kind of makes it part of your life. That’s all you know, you get used to it. I lived like that, but when it was over and I thought of what I went through and the time I have spent on it, a bunch of new feelings came out.

Iwas full with guilt, shame, disbelief of why I stayed, and, most of all, I carried for a long time, in myself, a lot of the insults that I’ve been told.

Guilt and shame... I felt guilty because I stayed in that relationship for so long. Why I did it was a question that I made myself every day. I felt ashamed of myself, again, for being in that relationship for so long and also because what kind of woman I was to let that happen to me. Guilt and shame hunted me every day; every time I saw my parents, my sons, my friends, and every time someone told me that they couldn’t believe my relationship was over because we were the perfect couple.

The insults, the verbal and emotional insults I received, well, those stayed with me for a long time. For months and months, I could hear him say it to me as it was the actual day that he did it. That I was fat, dumb, that I would never achieve anything in my life, that I wasn’t sexual competent, that no other man could possibly love me were part of the insults. These were accompanied by yelling, screaming, aggressive behavior, checking constantly were I was, and a constantly, absurd jealousy.

I lived with all those feelings for a long year and a half and I’ll be lying to you if I tell you that sporadically when I’m doing or experiencing something specifically (like an Award I received as an author, a date, a compliment I received, or just on an ordinary day) I heard those voices again.

I am a stronger woman now and those voices can’t hurt me anymore. They don’t hurt simply because I know now that I never should have felt guilty or shame. It was him who was wrong, not me. There is nothing wrong with me. They don’t hurt, also, because there are a lot of great women who, like me, have suffered what I have suffered and who are suffering every day. They, as well as me, aren’t weak women or a lesser type of women. They are just caught up in an abusive relationship. Most of all, that relationship does not define them or me at all. We are way more than a woman in an abusive relationship or one that has experienced one.

All these women, as well as myself, are great, smart, caring, funny, lovable, creative, incredible human beings capable of loving and respecting a man. But, most of all, we are amazing women that deserve love, respect, care, and happiness next to a man willing to give us that and more.

Take care, Tere

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Life is about...

Beautiful Smiles
 A loud laughter
The look in your eyes
     The sound of the rain
A tight hug
   A child's giggle
The colors of a rainbow
     An amazing sunset
A starry night
     Listening to your favorite song
A slow dance
     The sound of the waves
A day at the beach
    Reading a good book
A refreshing swim
    A nice walk through nature
The warmth of the sun
    A breezy afternoon
A crazy dance at midnight 
A quiet evening
    Being barefoot on the grass
A creative mind
Time with your friends
Sharing with family
    The scent of your perfume
A passionate kiss
 Holding your hand
Love between you and me
                                                      Tere Rodriguez-Nora

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

I’m thankful...

 for that smile that a stranger gave
 me unexpectedly 
 for the rain that wet my feet on my way
 to work yesterday
  for the ray of sunshine that blinded my eyes 
when I was walking 
 for the singing of the bird that woke me up this morning when I wanted to sleep more  
for that difference in opinion, I had with my 
friend that made me appreciate her more 
 for the times my parents didn’t let me do what 
I wanted because it wasn’t good for me 
for all those people that aren’t part of my life
anymore because, from them, I have learned a lesson 
 for that bad experience I had because it
 helped me be a better person 
 for the day that isn’t going well because 
make me appreciate the good ones
 for those moments I felt a failure because
 it helped me grow as a person  
for the days I doubt myself a little because it
made me believe in myself more  
for the good news, I saw on TV because 
it gave me hope in humanity  
for those words my teacher told me when
 I thought I couldn’t make it  
for that moment I didn’t like myself because it
 made me appreciate myself more  
for that tear turned into a smile because made
 me believe in better days to come 
 for just opening my eyes this morning because
 I have one more day to live 

                                                                 Tere Rodriguez-Nora

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