Christmas time can be a very difficult time of the year for some
people. They can get nostalgic; some others miss loved ones and others remember
past experiences that could make them sad. I am one of those that get
sad.
Growing up, my holidays were
full of joy, sharing, love, family, friends. I had an amazing time. Then those
feelings change abruptly during my years of marriage.
Every year when the holidays
where approaching, the struggle begins: insults because he didn't want to spend
time with the family, not receiving any gift from him, when I was having a good
time at a family's gathering, he just wanted to leave, yelling, trying to
protect the kids while he decided to ruin our holidays.
These are some of the things I
remember from these holidays and somehow, they are like foggy, blurry. But what
I sure don't remember is the good memories. Those are gone. I don't have them
anymore. This is what makes me sad because my mind has erased all those
memories not letting me hang on, not even to one of them.
Since I decided to start a new
life, seven years ago, I've been trying to create new Christmas time memories.
I have had created these with friends and family here in Florida. But those bad
memories of the past haven't let me create new memories with my family back
home. I cannot go and spend it with them... not yet. Although is difficult for
them, they understand and respect my decision.
As I grow older, I have learned
to appreciate the simplest things, little things that matter. With these little
things come the building of special memories with loved ones; that even though
they are not family, they have opened their hearts to me and let me in. With
these simplest things. I have also learned that it doesn't matter that you
don't receive a gift on Christmas morning or day, but what counts is the loved
ones that take time to greet you in their one special way. The little things
have also taught me to be grateful and that I am capable to create new memories that I
would remember and cherish.
This Christmas time, even
though I feel with a little sadness in my heart, there is also hope,
gratefulness, and a fresh look towards spending time with loved ones and
creating amazing stories together.
I hope you all have a Merry
Christmas full of love and beautiful memories!
Take care, Tere
